The lot of you were standing in a huge crowd of adventurers, some like you, some not. A massive, three-headed DBZ-style dragon stood over the group, plucking people out. Each head gathered it's own small group of elite adventurers, and after they each have their group, the massive reptile banishes the vast majority of the group with a wave of it's claw. For whatever reason, you six fail to disappear. You sit, ignored, in the vastness of the great dragon's cave for some time as each head lectures it's own little group of adventurers on what it wants from them. Finally, all of it's choicest bands set off, the wyrm turns and notices the six of you for the first time. "Aw...fuck." one of the heads says. "These ones can't go home." "Why not?" asks another. "Probably they fucked up so bad that they blew apart everything near where they were standing, and the gate is jammed up with crap," answers the first. ... "Well, hell," says the third. "Let's send them to the Bottom Tier. Maybe they can do some good before they get eaten, enslaved, or otherwise made even more useless." And thus it begins. The dragon conjures a pamphlet in front of Olaf, and scoops the lot of you into a massive claw, tossing you rather haphazardly into a swirling gate. You fall through, into a huge clearing in an even huger forest -- huge like the deer are approaching 40 feet tall, and the trees stretch miles into the sky. The pamphlet reads: You are the Chosen Adventurers of the Great Wyrm Danickdave, Keeper of Worlds. Your mission: to explore the Worlds that are Not Working Like They Should, figure out what the hell is wrong with them, and fix them. Succeed, and Great Power and Untold Riches await. Fail, and the tortures of Dredmor's piddly-ass little dungeon will seem like a day on the beach compared to what the Great Danickdave will do to you. Good Fortune. The only thing observable to anyone other than massive trees and wildlife: Argus can see inside one of the trees, which appears to be fake and hollow, with a ladder. It goes both up and down, but there's no clear way in.
*My PC* I try to get everyone's attention and show them the tree. (Failing that I will attempt to use Fires of Perversion on the tree so it fails at concealing the ladder. Woe to the ladder itself, as I suspect it was intended to be stable.)
"Boy, oh boy. I been to a lot o' strange places but never someding like dis." Billy picks himself up off the ground, scratching his chin and looking back and forth. "Stone walls, dragon caves, and now trees. Me whole life lived around trees and I never seen 'em in a cave before dis." The cave was a big and mostly crowded place. Billy had managed not to see his fellow Adventurers until now. He takes stock of the situation and behold! The first thing he sees is... "Great Krong! Dat's the damned weirdest tree I ever seen." Billy retreats a step or two from Argus. "Is it sick or someding?"
"What the hell am I doing here?" The Senator picks himself up off the ground. "Ugh, my suit is dirty." He notices the others for the first time and regains his composure. "Oh, hello! Allow me to introduce myself. I am Zebedev Futuo, a very prominent politician. You all seem like a clear-thinking bunch; can any of you assist me?" He then sees Argus. "OH MY- *ahem* He-hello... sir? Who might you be?"
I am Agrus. You look like that politician who was thrown in the dungeon for Digglephilia... Was that you?
"No, of course not. That would be my competition, Pitt Domney. The villagers outside the dungeon, ignorant peasants as they are, simply didn't understand my position on the issues." The Senator turns to the Chin. "Hello, my facially-endowed fellow. Who might you be?"
Oleandre stands upright. He is slightly reluctant to give his name, but if what the dragon said was correct, then it didn't matter because they are not where they are supposed to be, and a showing little courtesy towards bastards he could use later is only natural. He smirks as he introduces himself. "My name is Oleandre. Oleandre Villiendo." He takes a step towards the short man holding a piece of paper [the pamphlet] and takes a look at it. The only thing he managed to get from it was that the letters are too small for him to read. Tough luck. "Erm... I say It wasn't my fault we got stuck in there. Pillock dragon just put its arse on a switch, or something."
Argus faces Oleandre and says "Are you the one who buried the lich in junk and cats?" That was *AWESOME*!!! Oh, if you are wondering, I sometimes see odd things. Some of it may not be entirely accurate. But then some I am more certain about. (Glares at the Senator while saying that last part.) I think I may be a failed Bolt Council Experiment. I have family in Squid Bolts. When we are done with introductions we should really examine the weird tree over there. I am going to look upwards and see where the ladder goes. Be back in a second or ten...
Billy looks at the Senator in confusion. He's never heard of someone not endowed with a face before. Of course, with Argus chatting away a dozen paces away, it might be fair to say there was a first time for everything. "I'm Billy. Some people just call me de Chin. Dats fine, too." More chin scratching as Billy watches Argus move off however it is that he moves. "Strange one, dat guy. But if it's a tree needing looked at den I'm your man. Used to be a lumberjack." Now its true there were a couple of people who hadn't said anything yet, but Billy's sure he'll hear from them eventually. He can just figure it out as he goes along, right? So he unslings the chainsword from his shoulder and yanks the ripcord as he walks over to the tree Argus has disappeared into and makes a few exploratory cuts. It doesn't take long to figure out the thing is hollow, and he sets about making an entryway. The tentacles had mentioned a ladder, so Billy takes a little more time and care, so he won't cut nothing but tree.
Ililani watches quietly, taking in the others, measuring them so that when she finally does speak, she says just the right thing. As she stands, she checks her viola, then her dress, then inside her satchel, apparently going in order of importance. Finding everything in order, she moves gracefully towards the rest of the group, then startles a little and breaks her graceful stride when Billy fires up his chainaxe. She nearly falls over. "My word," she says, "what on earth is that?"
"Dis, ma'am?" Billy has to speak pretty loudly to make himself heard over the sound of the chainsword and winds up spitting a bit as sawdust flies into his mouth. Not that that's anything unusual for him. "Dis is my patented Tree and Lich Clockwork De-limber System(TM). I'm supposed to warn ye to keep hands and feet away now, too." He keeps cutting with apparent satisfaction.
Olaf is watching the strange group from the tree he fell on. Hmm, looks like a friendly bunch, he thinks. "Hi fellows, could you lend me a hand here? My name is Olaf, pleased to meet you all."
Having heard the words of man who called himself "Argus", Oleandre was at a loss. There was no way someone knew how his fight against Dredmor looked like, so there had to be some kind of trick to it. Drops of sweat appeared on his forehead as he tried to find any explanation for that. Surely, it was just a coincidence, or a lucky guess. It was then that he heard someone speaking from a nearby tree. He looked up, only to find some fellow on that tree. He was reluctant. On one hand, he could probably make an impromptu ladder for the trapped cuss. On the other, doing so would reveal his speciality to a group of people he knew practically nothing about. On the other other way, it wouldn't do for the chap to hurt himself by falling from there if there was a risk of them learning that he could do something later, as that was a good way to keep them wary. On the other other other way... "Ah, to pits of hell with it." Oleandre pulled a bunch of daggers from somewhere and threw them rapidly, one by one, into the tree below the location of the lad, hoping that they'll make it possible for him to get down. Oleandre uses "Projectile Storm"
Olaf starts to climb down the makeshift dagger ladder, but misses a step halfway down and falls flat on his face. Thankfully the tree wasn't that tall and the grass softened his fall up a bit. As he gets up, he says, "I'm okay! I'm okay everyone, don't mind me. Where are we?"
The Senator finds Olaf's fall somewhat humorous, but he maintains his composure. "Hello, my good man! Nasty fall, there; are you alright?" He continues speaking without waiting for an answer. "I'm not sure where we are, right now. All I know is I was in Dredmor's dungeon when I, err... stumbled upon some sort of civil war. Dredmor seemed to have been slain by one force of diggles (with whom I am not associated). Then we ended up in the dragon's chamber, and I'm sure you remember from there."
By this time, Billy has successfully slashed a doorway into the interior of the tree, revealing the interior tunnel. Like everything else in this place, the passage is huge -- Argus failed to note that the 'ladder' consists of iron bars some 5 feet in diameter spaced some 30 feet apart. Downward, the vertical shaft (about 40' across) disappears into darkness. Upward, the vertical shaft...disappears into darkness. At this point, an incoming-bomb-type whistling sound echos through the trees, and an arrow the size of a battering ram, covered in blood and a hint of entrails, ploughs right through Argus' shoulder and into the ground at Zebedev's feet. Argus instinctively moves an eye quite a ways in the direction the arrow came from and spies a massive, 80-foot-tall humanoid with a crude crossbow shouting that he tagged the deer he was shooting at, and it'll probably die after a short run. It seems to be calling to some mates, but Argus can't see them.
The Senator hops backwards as the arrow hits the ground. "OH MY NON-GOD! I COULD HAVE BEEN KILLED!" He takes a few deep breaths and regains his composure. "Well boys, it seems we are being assaulted. Any ideas of who the attackers are?"
Billy eyes the arrow ballista bolt that has just arrived. "Whatever dey are, dey's big. Real big." He turns and glances up and down the tree trunk. "Kinda like you might dink uses a ladder like dat. I'd say duck down de hole, but I'm not sure dat's not gonna have more of de same, yeah?"
