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If Dungeons of Dredmor were real......

Discussion in 'Dungeons of Dredmor General' started by Warlock, Jun 18, 2012.

  1. Warlock

    Warlock Member

    This discussion is inspired by an odd dream I had last night. For the record, I've managed to clear about 1/2 of Floor 6 in the interim, still cruising along quite well for the nonce on my current PC. Thanks to everyone who gave me helpful advice.

    I dreamt that I was selected to clean out the dungeons by Inconsequentia, with an offer made I just couldn't refuse. I got to keep all the things I found as well as all the knowledge of the skills I learned, saving progress at the end of every dungeon floor. I could choose to quit anytime and keep whatever I had with me but only, and only if I'd completely cleared out one floor and hadn't yet begun the next. I could still move freely between floors, though. If I did die in the process, I'd forget about this ever happening to me and lose all that I had.

    Things were a lot different in my dream, for one, I had access to the entire skill tome, the dungeon seemed bigger than it usually is (I mean WAY big, at least 4-5 times the current size of each floor), there was some crazy stuff that you don't usually see in the dungeon. For instance there was one room full of bookshelves, the moment I started flipping through the books to find anything of use, I was ambushed by two Dread Collectors. Fortunately, I was able to lead them into a Gargoyle Acid Bolt trap and kept kiting them until they died, hitting them with as many crossbow bolts as I could. That was about the only hairy situation I'd run into on the first floor. Warlockery and Battle Geology are nice to have for the considerable damage savings. There's more but I can't remember much of the rest off-hand. I do remember it being harder than my current run, because I think
    the only difficulty on offer was Going Rogue.

    I still wish it wasn't a dream though. The RNG was very kind, and I had saved up nearly 45,000 zorkmids plus all the gold, silver, and platinum ingots and gemstones I could find, as well as any potions and wands that were even remotely magical. And a Bolt of Mass Destruction. On Level 1. And by the way, Brax may have outrageous resale prices, but he's actually pretty good for a conversation if you ply him with the right alcohol.

    TL;DR what would you do if DoD were actually real?
     
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  2. Daynab

    Daynab Community Moderator Staff Member

  3. Warlock

    Warlock Member

    [​IMG]
     
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  4. FaxCelestis

    FaxCelestis Will Mod for Digglebucks

    I'd not go in. That thing is a deathtrap.
     
  5. Aquaman

    Aquaman Member

    If DoD were actually real...I'd go kill Dredmor of course! Then I would proceed to do a victory dance, become rich by selling all my unneeded items back to Brax, and then live a happy life with I guess a certain red haired heroine :D
     
  6. Warlock

    Warlock Member

    Forget it. I'd cut my losses at floor 14 and bugger off.
     
  7. banjo2E

    banjo2E Member

    There's bars on floor 1 preventing you from leaving.
     
  8. Warlock

    Warlock Member

    Sigh, I knew something was wrong there. Onward to a gruesome death anyway? FTL
     
  9. I'd stand still and play DS all day.
     
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  10. Essence

    Essence Will Mod for Digglebucks

    If DoD were real, I'd call up my old friend Barbara L. Golden (the Secret Service agent who grilled me when I threatened to kill Bush Jr. online) and tell her to get in touch with her boss and tell him to tell the president to drop a few dozen Hellfire missiles on that shit. Dredmor might not die, but he'll at least be buried under several thousand tons of rubble, safely underground for some far future generation to deal with.

    And then I'd take a road trip out to the rubble and bury a time capsule there with a giant "FUCK DON"T DIG HERE YOU IDIOTS" sign in it.
     
  11. DavidB1111

    DavidB1111 Member

    Well, this got awkward...are you serious, Essence about the Secret Service?
    Or are you making a joke?

    If you're serious, I think the Secret Service might track you down again and explain how you shouldn't post agents names on the Internet.
    :)
     
  12. Essence

    Essence Will Mod for Digglebucks

    Yes, I'm serious. I posted a detailed letter to an emailing list (this was back in the days of USENet) -- an emailing list consisting of 100% friends of mine that I knew weren't going to report me to anyone. It explained how, the next time Bush Jr. came to Seattle, I was going to be on top of the Nordstrom building with a high-powered rifle and I was going to kill him. It explained how I was going to get there, where I was going to get the gun...everything. I put my name, address, phone number, email address, birthday, social security number, and blood type on the thing.

    It was a all a huge joke because we were talking about Carnivore (the FBI's email-scanning program) and how it was looking for terrorists on USENet and on the associated emailing lists. I didn't believe it existed, and so I tossed the email out into the conversation to see what would happen.

    Eighteen months later, Bush finally planned a trip to Seattle -- and three days before he did, the Secret Service came and literally took over my dorm at Evergreen College. They locked everyone that wasn't me into a bedroom and then grilled me for three hours about famous assassins, guns, Bush, and whatnot. It took me almost the entire time to figure out that it was because of the letter I had sent more than a year ago, and when I did and I explained the story to them, we all had a good laugh. Except the one tough with the mirrorshades and the open pistol. That guy never cracked a smile.

    I still have Barbara Golden's card in my wallet, just in case I ever stumble upon something the Secret Service needs to worry about. She's on LinkedIn as a Secret Service agent, and she made some small gamer news a ways back when she helped the Secret Service raid Steve Jackon Games and take down their internet servers. So it's not like it's a secret or anything. :)


    BTW, the 'offical story' is that my letter was found by a concerned citizen and sent in. Carnivore doesn't exist. That story has since been disproven, of course, but they were very sure at the time that Carnivore was a myth and that for some reason, one of the six friends on that mailing list must have reported me.

    Right.
     
  13. Kazeto

    Kazeto Member

    We already heard that story, Essence.

    Though it's always nice to see it again. It's kind of amusing.
     
  14. SkyMuffin

    SkyMuffin Member

    I know some famous writers, but I don't think any of them would be able to get missiles dropped on the dungeon, unfortunately. ;_;

    I guess I would have a picnic with some diggles. I've heard they like booze.
     
  15. jhffmn

    jhffmn Member

    If DoD were real, the hero would die of alchohol poisoning on the first floor.

    That or massive constipation would kill him.
     
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  16. HowlingLotus

    HowlingLotus Member

    Diggles....Diggles everywhere :eek:

    Then I would imagine said Diggles would peck me to death. The madness! I just wanted hugs :(
     
  17. Warlock

    Warlock Member

    The dungeon is its own environment. Anyway, we're getting drunkenness introduced into the new expansion pack.

    Psst..... Don't tell anyone I told you this, but Brax let slip that Dredmor spiked all the food and drink in the dungeon with U-No-Poo. Get the reference. :p

    edited for grammar
     
  18. Musaab

    Musaab Member

    What Daynab said.