Pretty much as the title says: in my builds, I'm having trouble with leveling and placing my skills. The thing is, in most of my builds, I feel very unsure of what to level first, and I'm generally unaware of how many levels I have before things really start to slow down. I suppose the core of this conundrum is that I'm simply not good at building characters; I don't know the 'soft' level-cap (the amount of levels before your leveling is so slowed down you're mostly done), I'm not really sure what skills are better than others, and etcetera. Say in an average build with polearms, clockwork knight, and smithing, I don't know what the best path would be; "do I go rocket fist then max polearms, or max smithing?" TL;DR bad at building characters, would like some assistance/guidance.
In regards to a "soft cap", there's no such thing in this game, you'll usually have every single skill (and still level) by the end of the dungeon, so you don't really have to worry about that.
I generally prioritize early game leveling as such: 1. trap sight. at least +1 will make life much easier. +1 disarm if possible. the xp pays off pretty quickly. if you have at least 2 disarm you can collect traps for use against enemies, 2. survival skill. a summon, a heal, knock back or teleport. or a skill that just kills things fast enough before they get within attack range. 3. crafting: the sooner you max a craft the better the returns will be. especially if it's bolts, throwing, etc. and you can generally get enough ingredients to complete one major project (steel level crossbow, plate mail, stack of concussion bombs, strong weapon, etc) by the middle of dungeon level 2. 4. everything else
I find that the easiest way (not necessarily the most interesting or fun way, mind you!) to start a character build is to focus purely on damage - the stacked passive boosts from weapon trees or base damage from higher level offensive spells will tear through anything in the first few dungeon levels. Likewise, the bonuses that you can get from potion or mushroom buffs are at their most significant early on - so abuse any you find to take down stronger monsters, and don't worry about needing to escape on a whim. After the first couple of floors you'll want to pick up a few utility skills; warriors should aim for teleport/invisibility skills or anything that can daze/mute foes (to deal with enemy casters), while mages will need mana regen skills (to increasingly avoid any melee combat). After that you can pretty much dump points wherever and let your base stats and equipment keep your character viable. If you're willing to grind your way through the entirety of Realm of the Diggle Gods and maybe throw in some wizard portals, you might max all your skills. If instead you're playing the standard 10 floors (which I recommend, for various reasons), a good rule of thumb is to plan to leave about 2 skill trees total untouched.
ALWAYS take rocket fist, then take the polearms ranged attack, then waste points on smithing. Also, the best spell combo is prolly Rocket Fist and the unarmed Buffalo Throw or something. They both have great knockback. I don't really know if the spear attacks have knockback, but if they have, better take either rocket fist or polearms knockback attack first.
It's packed into the first stance, 50% on hit and 50% if hit, and work for everyone in adiacent squares. And paralyze them for 1 turn.
You should be able to get to character level 5 or 6 before you have to go downstairs - so that means 4 or 5 points before you have to do any tough fighting. Let me suggest a straight-forward warrior build for you first: Weapon Skill (any but daggers is fine), Shield Bearer, Master of Arms, Berserker. Then any other three skills you like. That will start you with steel armor, a weapon, and decent combat buffs. You'll almost always want to put a point into your weapon skill first - it usually adds enough damage to get a ton of 1-hit-kills on the first level. Put most of your points into those four central skills, and you'll always be relatively powerful. You'll need some equipment and luck to defeat Dredmor, but this build will get you a long way towards him with little danger, which gives you more confidence & experience in the game. If you want to start playing tricky - try Communism, Daggers, Artful Dodger, Rogue Scientist, Crossbow, Tinkering - and two other skills. Get a point in daggers + Communism right away, and make sure you get Knightly Leap (2 points into Dodger) relatively soon. That will give you tons of fun positional / sneaky combat tricks, and will really give you opportunities to shine in the game. I'd play melee builds first, so you understand how the work, before you start giving up power for position this way. But once you know how to use position to your advantage - you'll always want to have some tricks in your bag. (Which is one reason so many people insist on a teleport skill). Notice I haven't mentioned any magic skills yet? That's because magic is HARD to start the game with. You simply won't have enough MP to really kill things with magic - you'll always need to rely mostly on melee for the first few floors. Eventually you can become a spell-slinging maniac, but that takes time.
Well, unless you choose Promethean Magic and put your first two skill points towards Summon Wyrmling. Then you can all but sit back and do nothing while your pet kills everything within the first, what, 3 or 4 floors, giving you more than enough time and exp to skill up your mage to start killing things purely from a distance by the time you get bored of waiting for or frequently recasting the summon.
Mr Strange gives great advice, so I won't belabor the points too heavily but here is a more robust build to give you everything you need. Same as Strange's but with added healing, teleport and optional crafting. My first victory was with a very similar build. Weapon Skill (any but daggers) Master of Arms Berserker Smithing (or Shield Bearer if you just can't stand crafting) Burglary Fleshsmithing (Something FUN!) Like Strange says, melee is the easiest place to start learning so the first 4 skills here are your bread and butter. Level the first three for sweet damage and armor. Level Smithing as your ingredients allow. Use Iron for weapons, save Steel for armor until you've some to spare. Smithing doesn't have a ton of endgame utility but if you level it early, it will allow you to thumb your nose at the RNG, safely passing through the first floors with ease. Burglary is for escapes and trapsight. Once you feel comfortable with your melee capabilities start leveling this so you can run away when things get rough. You'll want ninja vanish, probably before the fifth dungeon level and eventually you can max it out for the much coveted TELPROT. Burglary also lets you open up all of the treasure chests and steal from vending machines. Better loot = better chance. Put one point into fleshsmithing for one of the best heals in the game. Even with a low magic power it's incredibly useful and it gives you a use for your mana without a large skill investment. After that you can pretty much leave the tree alone until you max out your melee stuff. P.S. The game might not have a soft cap, but I typically kill Dredmor before I hit level 30. I usually haven't leveled all of my skills as I don't see much sense waiting when I can kick his bony behind NOW, but your mileage may vary.
I don't know why people are saying "anything but Daggers" on the weapon skill. True, Daggers is a Rogue skill and feels like one, but it's a decent option in melee even for a conventional Warrior build. The wall of blades stance considerably improves your survival rate (25 and 25 is huge at any stage in the game), while the special attacks (especially the capstone) will let you fell monsters who would otherwise be way out of your league in straight melee. The best part is that you can use whatever weapons you happen to find rather than hunting for a particular kind of weapon. Polearms is another eccentric but potent weapon skill that doesn't really tie you down to specific weapons. The stances are incredibly powerful, not least because they give such a high chance of stunning monsters. The ultimate noob skill for me though is Fungal Arts. You get given ridiculous quantities of mushrooms, and you don't need to know anything about crafting. Inky Hoglanterns and Fairywodgers in particular are lifesavers.
Come on, I think that being in a dungeon for 15 floors can teach you what each of twelve 'shrooms, since they are in your actual build and in fact one of your power-toys. Everyone loves fungi.
To make this a little more general: There are two ways to handle level-up theory, based on how squishy your character is. If you're squishy (I.E. if you're afraid of dying whenever you come across more than one mob at a time.): Your first priority is leveling up something that will let you survive more than one mob at a time. There are two routes to doing this: either you level up a de-squish-inator like Socialized Healthcare or Flesh Knitting, or you level up a big-ass weapon that will let you kill said mobs before they get to you, like My Chemical Explosion or Obvious Fireball. If you have none of these available, then level up something that will help you get away from mobs, like Fungal Arts for more Hoglanterns or Knightly Leap or something. If not, you want to level up, in order: Oh Shit Buttons: These should always come first, because you don't know when you'll need them. Teleport, Invis, guaranteed Knockback effects, stun effects, or basically anything that will save your ass when an invisible ubermob pops up next to you while you're brawling Lord Dredmor's 17th Brigade, the Cooling Hobgoblins. Big Guns: The next priority after general survival and oh-shit buttons is offense. Killing shit faster is surviving better, straight up. Moar XP: Leveling faster is better, period. It Belongs In A Museum, More Grisly Trophies, Lucky Pick, and more trap affinity all help. Other Utility: Only once you've got the other things taken care of should you dink around with stuff like This Translation Is All Wrong or Gem Transmutation, unless it's somehow a key part of your build. Just my general theory on leveling, if it helps.