In Which Lindsay Lohan Descends Into the Dungeons of Dredmor Los Angeles, March 10, 2012 (AP) -- After her latest parole violation, actress Lindsay Lohan today was given an ultimatum -- descend into the Dungeons of Dredmor to defeat the evil Lord Dredmor, or face further jail time. LA County Judge Stephanie Sautner told Lohan, “If you survive the dungeons, your record will be expunged. You will have done the public a great service in ridding the world of this vial creature.” This prompted LiLo to burst into tears, crying, “No, not Lord Dredmor!” But her attorney later told reporters that the troubled one-time child actress would, in fact, comply with the judge, and would be entering the dungeons after a one-day crash course in battling Diggles. “Anything to spare her from prison,” said the lawyer. What follows is an account of that journey. Day One: Having dyed her hair back to her original red, Lindsay Lohan bids farewell to the closest people in her life: her attorney, her agent, her publicist, her manicurist, her astrologer and her dealer. She then descends into the first level of the Dungeons of Dredmor: We know Lohan, in the real world, is a magic user, thanks to the magical powder she puts up her nose. So in Dredmor she will specialize in magic: Staves: Staves! They stave off all kinds of things. Golemancy: The Greater and Lesser Golemantic Arts pertain to the animation and subsequent irritation of base matter. (In other words, you give life to non-living stuff.) Mathemagic: Using the power of Mathemagic, you can multiply power, subtract hope, and cube-root the dreams of man himself. This is a strange, abstract school of magic that has a way of driving its users insane. Promethian Magic: Harness the power of The Ever-Burning, said by the great sages to gently barbeque the void-which-binds-the-world. This is all about setting things on fire - setting *everything* on fire. Magical Training: (irreverent Potter quote here) Blood Mage: Gain magical power through the blood of your enemies. Makes magic a much messier affair. Not a good conversation-starter. Killer Vegan: "The power of clean living, moral superiority, and gluten-magic" In the first level, LiLo meets up with her first creature: What better time than to test out her newfound magical abilities, including: LiLo vaguely remembers some Malibu parties where she did something like this: It works quite well indeed. No longer a vegetarian. Ah well, that was getting boring. Hey -- beer and bizarre cocktails. This is as great as a Malibu party. Drinks galore. LiLo loves this Dredmor place. In fact, she ponders joining the dark side: But soon enough, the one-time actress has a new achievement: For the first time in a very long time, Lindsay Lohan feels proud of herself. She actually hopes her stay in the Dungeons of Dredmor is a long one. TO BE CONTINUED....
Day Two: Lindsay Makes New Friends, Then Kills Them LiLo sleeps well that first night in the Dungeons of Dredmor. Usually she needs stuff to get her to sleep, but her first day had been truly exhausting. In the morning she wakes, yawns, kills another Diggle, and then finds a vending machine: She was hoping for a Diet Coke, but the machine sells only baseballs and boomerangs, for some reason: Lindsay never misses a chance to shop, and buys 10. Her credit cards don’t work down here in the Dungeons of Dredmor, so she pays with cash. Lindsay isn’t sure what this is for, or if its for sale. Later LiLo levels, choosing a new skill: Lindsay thinks it says 'magical powder,' like the stuff she buys a lot back home. After killing an Evil Magic Potato, she finds Tofu. She never did like Tofu, but all her other vegan friends eat it. LiLo finds Lutefisk, which stinks to high heaven (though not as bad as her first prison cell). But she collects them to give to the Lutefisk Statue. A monolith. Lindsay wonders if she’s in “2001: A Space Odyssey.” LiLo saves up her zorkmids for an awesome helm: But still, she’s missing her fun little pills. Thankfully LiLo locates the Dredmor equivalent of a hotel room mini-bar: She could stay here all day. And at day’s end, LiLo is thrilled to find the entrance to the next level, and a new task ahead: TO BE CONTINUED....
I find it very amusing that your Let's Play is supposed to control a celebrity, and the magical item is "badly dressed". Oh, the beautiful coincidences.
Tried more last night, only on Level 2 and the big problem is that Lindsay is a Vegan. How the heck do you play this trait? I'm trying to avoid hurting animals, but sometimes its not easy. Secondly, the HP foods like cheese give her the Fallen Vegan debuff, I believe. That debuff is a killer, and eliminating cheese and meat from her diet gives us little else to boost HP with. Suggestions on playing as Vegan.? Lindsay needs help.
1. Get the second level Vegan skill, it lets you charm animals and they'll fight for you. 2. The Vegan debuff doesn't trigger if you use spells, ranged attacks or summons to attack animals. Use this quirk to harvest that delicious XP without screwing yourself over. 3. If you can, max out the skill for an ability that lets your purge all of the debuffs, allowing you to much major food items like omelets, grilled cheese and the dire sandwich then cure yourself for good healing.
