Also there really should be an ability to REMOVE DIGGLE somewhere in the game. Or a trumpet and accordion set or something. And why is there no Afghan Cap refference? (search tv tropes)
Yes, I could see a REMOVE DIGGLE trumpet wand that deals 200 to animals. It also causes a voice from some unseen dimension to say "REMOVE DIGGLE REMOVE DIGGLE YOU LAUGH MY ASSHOLE HAHAHAHA YOU WILL NEVER FIND FRUITFUL STAFF YOU ARE DREDMOR STINK DOG” “Octo, Zomby.. i have two words for you: fuc bad” Hero has wisdom of falcon."
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FeaturelessProtagonist?from=Main.AFGNCAAP Also, I'd personaly go with a... wait for it, picture the crazy 80's sales pitch guy... accordion which was a two handed shieldcalled "diggle remover" whcih allowed Dual Wielding and Shield bearer perks all by itself. Existential damage would be abuout right :_D A trumpet shaped wand would also be great as long as you could use it to send diggles I don't think I should translate what it means. Balkan swearing would make Chtulu blush.
The diggle remover should be a shield which gives -100 to all damage but +50 existential damage against Diggles of all kinds.