To whom it may concern: I have taken your loved ones hostage. Do not try to contact them to confirm this, as it would be a bad idea. Just trust me. Also, if THEY contact YOU, that's because I'm letting them so that you'll know they are unharmed. I will only release the hostages upon being given a link to download the Dungeons of Dredmor Beta (hereafter referred to as "the beta"). If my demands are not met within 24 hours then I will begin executing one hostage every 30 seconds until my demands are met. Hopefully you will see the only option is to meet these demands or see your loved ones perish ("see" is used metaphorically in this context as you will not be there and there will not by any sort of video feed.) Here is a picture of them so you know I am serious: http://i55.tinypic.com/1568v2p.jpg signed, A Friend
The official Gaslamp Games policy is not to negotiate with MS Paint-wielding terrorists. Also, the lack of an e-mail adddress makes it hard to accede to your demands. Also, ... since when did we have anonymous posting?
Unless you want your loved ones to suffer I would recommend changing your policy! Also, the correct term is GIMP wielding terrorist. Also it's... it's called an account name you.... may have heard of them.
I see that you are not taking me seriously. I have executed one of the hostages. I hope you will take this matter more seriously from now on. http://i51.tinypic.com/2n7qlhk.jpg
Do what he says!! HE HAS A BOOMERANG!! *horrified face* Or... is that a gun? My eyesight is not what it once was...
Don't do what he says! It's merely an oddly-shaped croissant and he's trying to share it between everyone. Unfortunately, the first man had a piece and choked on it.
I believe our plan to make this unrealistic conversation among ourselves a fail as SuperHawksman has not noticed our effort placed within our jokes. Operation failed guys. Let's go home...
Sorry for not getting that keeping hostages, even as a joke, is fun. I know what humor is, seriously, but I just don't get the humor of this.
<img src="http://i55.tinypic.com/1568v2p.jpg" Why is that one hostage smiling? ..uh, I mean... Don't test him! Can't you see he's serious!? But don't worry, I've dealt with things like this before... I'll take care of it for you. Now, we need to show him a sign of cooperation and good faith so I can get him to release some of the hostages; dangle the carrot so to speak. Give me the download link for Dungeons of Dredmor and I promise to only use it to save your loved ones.
