[Lord Palmerstoke's Commission for Practical Scientific Acceptability notes that this report is a series of duplicitous lies and fabrication from somebody who has obviously never been to New Sogwood. Lord Palmerstoke himself notes that the air is "tropical and refreshing" and the trees laden with coconuts. The bureaucrat responsible for writing this post has been reassigned to REDACTED after having his REDACTED REDACTED with a larger REDACTED than usually used for this operation.]