Choose Your own Adventure kinda thingy

This is depreciated. I will no longer update this thread.​

Basically, it's just a CYOA, but more dynamic and on a forum!
It's pretty simple really, all you need to do is post a post saying what to do next!

Inventory
- 1 PLUMBER'S AGERIC
- 2 GOLDEN BOOTIES
- 4 MENTAL RUBBER BANDS
- 15 HUG POINTS
- 1 BEAR BRAIN
- 1 VINE ROOT
- 1 HOOKED BEAK
- 1 MAGAZINE-LIKE-OBJECT

Equipped
- 1 SET OF SOGGY WINGS
- 1 MENTAL RUBBER BAND

Effects
- Poached Egg Effect
- Golden Booties

Quests
- Kill the old Peddler

Current Paragraph/Page
You pull the papery magazine-like object out of your pack, and examine it. It appears to be a legal document of some sort, but trying to read it hurts your brain.
What will you do?
2) Go back down the tunnel, and search the vine-filled arbour?
or
3) Continue down the tunnel, past the bears?

 

You wake up on the floor in a room. Your search your corpse, and find an empty bag, some clothes, and a muscly Fez.
The room is a 2 sided octagon, with a wraught gold gate on one side, a purple and grey portal on another, and an office door on another wall.
Will you
- Go through the gate?
- Go through the portal?
- Go through the door?
- Something else?

 

You enter the swirling abyss of putricide, and emerge from a boot in the corner of the room.
You are now the smaller then your own foot!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fez_(hat)

 

Search for Plumber's Agaric.

http://www.dredmorwiki.com/wiki/Plumber's_Agaric

 

You search the room, but you can't find it in the room.
Perhaps you should go through the
- Gate?
or
- Door?

 

Crawl through a crack under the door...

 

You crawl under the door, and find your self in a desert made out of green sand.
Suddenly a shadow passes over you. Looking up you can see a hawk descending.
Will you
- Bury your self in the sand?
- Go back through the door?
or
- Kill the hawk with your awesome Fez power?

 

Use my fez hat to make the Hawk implodes.

 

You pull your MUSCLY FEZ out of your backpack, and wave it at the hawk, which promptly implodes, dropping a HAWK SOUL. You pick up the HAWK SOUL and put it in your backpack.
Will you now
- Go back under the door?
- Bury your self?
or
- Walk across the desert?

 

Let's go back and try the gate this time.

 

You tramp back under the door, and peer at the gate. It has intricate golden snails carved into the frame, which all seem to be staring at you and whispering. You gingerly push the gate open, and step through, and come face to face with a gold snail. 'Boo!' it screams at you.
Will you
- Fez it?
- Run away (With optional scream)?
or
- 'Boo!' back at it?

 

Say "...I had no intention of harming you anyway, kind snail."

 

You say 'I had no intention of harming you anyway, kind snail.'
The snail blinks twice, and screams again.
Will you
- Now have intentions of harming the snail?
- Scream back?
or
- Run away?

 

Just try walking around it; it's probably just confused.

 

You step past the snail, and get a view of the room behind. Simply put, it's fish coloured. There is also an assortment of other golden snails, all yelling 'Boo!' at each other. You suddenly spy a mysterous mushroom in the corner.
Will you
- Try to get to the shroom?
- Leave?
or
- Something else?

 

You step stealthily step forward, and peer around. As far as you can see, none of the snails noticed you. Taking another step your notice that your footprints are glowing.
Will you
- Make a break for the shroom?
- Try to rub your footprints out?
- Ride a snail like a mechanical bull?
- Something else?

 

Rub your footprints out.

 

You reach down and try to rub the prints out, but you just rub away more of the slime which is covering a sort of glowing rock underneath.