...This entire thing started with me wondering why Dredmor doesn't have an Aluminum Foil (a sword), and kind of rapidly spiraled out of control. This game relishes its sense of humor... a good amount of which comes from puns and references. Therefore, a friend and I just spent roughly an hour brainstorming up new pun/reference items, because we do that kind of thing, apparently. If Gaslamp Games, or modders, want to add some or all of these items, more power to you! Without further ado, the list! Weapons: Swords: Aluminum Foil: A piercing sword crafted of finest aluminum. damage; Craftable Tin Foil: A piercing sword crafted of finest tin. damage; Craftable The Sword of Agrias: "You're moving, something is going to die!" Sword of Slaying Everything Except Squid: A decent sword, except against Squid. Then it's crap. The Vorpal Sword: "Snicker Snack" Logically Everything Evades This Sword: (LEET Sword). Powerful, but good luck hitting. Anything. The SORD: "It's an artifact, all right... how are you even holding this?" (A rather crap weapon, all things considered.) Sworro: "Pointy end goes in other man." Dualist's Sword: Gives a higher stat bonus when dual-wielded than if alone. Axes: Pain in the Axe: This axe emanates pain, suffering, and frustration. Maces: Lucky Star: A morning-star that grants boosts to various luck/ things Rat Flail: It's a rat tied to a stick. Woo! Vampire Bat: A blunt weapon that heals you on hit. Fruit Bat: The same, but for vegans. Mighty Creature Hammer: Time-stopping goodness! Staves: Imp's Fork: Grants assorted bonuses related to the Demonology tree. Production Staff: Grants bonuses. "Has an unimaginably long list of names inscribed on it... past owners, perhaps? Steam Punk: "Useful for lighting fireworks AND a nice day at the spa!" Deals . Buck-and-a-Quarter Staff: A simple staff. A bit longer than you expected. The Whomping Stick: "Crafted from the finest Willow" Deals a lot of . Thrown: Lucky Horseshoe: Powerful and is always recovered. Root Beer: Deals incredibly massive damage to the undead. Thermite Blanket: Not to be confused with a thermal blanket. ( and entangle on hit) Thaumite Blanket: Not to be confused with either the thermal or thermite blankets. (Thaumites and entangle on hit) Wands: The Thorns of Oglogoth: Invokes a powerful spell The Wwand of the Wwhite Wwizard: Invokes a powerful spell. Armors: Chest Armor: Financial In'vest'ment: A vest. Made of money. Go wild. Pants: Jeans Gray: Grans massive psychic bonuses. Also, . Belts: Seat Belt: "Saftey First! Also protects the back of your pants." Spring-Loaded Codpiece: "A useful defensive tactic, but might make you walk funny for a while." Throws enemies back on hit. Headgear: The White Cap: Creates spores on hit/toxic resistance. Wooden Mullet: Grants some crafting bonus Ceremonial Dwarven Beard: Grants bonus to smithing (like the Tinkering Goggles) Alchemical Blast Shield: Bonuses to Alchemy. "Protects the face (and most importantly, the eyebrows) from the dangers of alchemy" Atlantean Tourist Hat: Looks like a Mickey Mouse Hat. "They basically give these things away like candy. EXPENSIVE CANDY." The God Hood: "It's really more of a coif, but are you going to argue with omnipotence?" Consumables: Papa Dwarf's Little(r) Helper: A unique alcohol. Grants some boost (use your imagination) like the Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster Dwarven Holy Water: "It's basically beer." Just another alcohol. Possibly grants a necromantic resist buff. Miscellenea: Eventful Horizon: An orb with massive, massive haywire chance. The Word of Cod: A holy book of the Lutefisk God. The Two Ring: Grants a lot stealth. "A bit jealous of it's sibling. Still powerful though" Mind Honey: "YOU DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES EAT THE MIND HONEY." Grants massive bonuses to spellpower and haywire chance, makes you randomly warp around and cast AoE spells, like the Root of T'Char
The Ring of Soj. "Worth more as currency than as jewelry." (negligible bonus but high resale) Reference to the use of SoJ rings (Stone of Jordan) as a form of trade currency in Diablo 2. Shaken. "Not stirred." A Japanese thrown weapon strongly resembling a caltrop. Does damage on hit, or if stepped on. Bowler Hat of Death. "It's an odd weapon but it'll get the job done." An obv. reference to Oddjob from Goldfinger. It's a hat, but it's a thrown weapon. Maybe make it usable for both? (dunno what bonuses it would confer as armor) Gabriel's Hammer. "Inscribed on the head of the weapon: 'I want to be your sledgehammer.'" Reference to Peter Gabriel's song "Sledgehammer."
More ideas! Tantrum. "How childish." A thrown object (take your pick, dart or shuriken or whatever) that causes the monster being hit to enter a rage attacking friend and foe alike. (Inspired by the description of the Thrown Weapons skill. Alternately, call the weapon a Hissyfit.) A hockey stick staff weapon. (BECAUSE CANADIANS LOVE HOCKEY AMIRITE HURR) Also, I want to dual wield them so I can make H-E-doublehockeysticks jokes. A large feather. Make it a wand that requires immediate physical proximity to the target, and paralyzes them for a few turns. You know, tickling them, so they're helpless and laughing. Yes, I know it's a profoundly stupid idea. "Can of beans" (or legumes?) food item (self opening, of course) that has 20-25 food value and causes the player to randomly generate clouds of "smoke" that stun or repulse enemies. Vegan friendly. (yay lowest common denominator potty humor)
Maxwell's Demon's Silver Hammer: grants bonuses vs. demonkind and adds Smithing skill! Lantern of Diogenes: High artifact quality, gives lots of random bonuses, but removes Sight Radius. Army Boots: footwear that goes on your hands. Mace class weapon. Gives Armor Absorb, not much damage though. The Cod Piece: a fish that goes in the pants slot. You fill in the rest.
Owl Cap - Does not help you spot poisonous snakes Aluminum Bat - An inscription reads: "He was six-foot-two and rude as hell, this helped me get him in the ground before he started to smell". Oddly Shaped Monocle - Someone has scratched "9001" on the lens. Skooma - The label proudly boasts that it is made with 100% Moon-high-fructose corn syrup Kiviak - Whole birds stuffed into a seal skin bag and left to rot over several months. The joke is that we're not joking. Seriously.
Boos - These small rodents come with a small label that advises you to fling them vigorously at an opponents eyes Kagrenac's Folly - This odd tome goes on about how it's not a good idea to mess around with a heart of a dead god and blasting your entire race out of reality Custard Pie - Useful for slaying yeti Double Rainbow Wand - What does it mean!? Cubic Zirconia Pickax - This is probably unsuitable for mining obsidian A Serbian Tome - Great for making Old Ones cry themselves to sleep
oh gods, that movie *shudder* Broken Dr. Sanin's New Style Pilsner Bottle: "Barroom brawlers rejoice!" (sword weapon I think) Broom (or Mop): "Time to clean up." (staff weapon)
Sam Axe - conjures Grog when you get hit. Snoopy the WWII Flying Mace - A mace that attacks at any distance (as per a thrown weapon) The Flaming Gay Cuirass - Sets your enemies on fire, when you dodge it procs with a buff called "Super, Thanks for Asking!" The Madder Hat - Viking Rage (as per the first level skill) in headgear form. Flavor text: They're late! They're late! Or at least, they will be soon! Helm of Breeblebrox - it has three heads, two of which flop about uselessly (huge Nimbleness penalty), but the third of which makes you feel like the President of the Galaxy. Bill Bo - a staff that steals rings from you and always crits on dragons. Butitz Mine - a mine that acts just like a normal Dwarven Landmine except that it also goes off is stolen from your inventory.
Something just occurred to me, maybe people should clarify references they are making - no guarantee everyone's gonna automatically get our jokes. Idea - Red Hot Chili Pepper (food item). Only gives about 5 food value but causes the player to cast a Dragon's Breath spell in whatever direction he next attacks in melee.
I love the Bill Bo. Glad I'm not going to pun hell alone! Hawk of T - Gaudy gold chains not included Black Pretzel - WARNING! May cause choking in hell kings! Code of Boothazdah - As you open this elegant yet fragile book, you drop it with a crash as numerous bugs start crawling out of the binding Bio Wear - Can you say "fan service"? Gas Mask - Mrrhh hurrrm hur hurm! Painkiller bolt - Faster than a laser bullet! Red Shield of Death - When three lights around the shield activate your foes shall perish! Or the shield will fall apart. Whichever. Cogs of Peace (shield) - The creators of this can at least say made something different this time
Fight Club. A mace type weapon with very little crushing damage but very high existential damage, grants great bonus to Burliness, and other fighting stats. Causes confusion on hit with a certain percentage, and a very low percentage of confusing yourself on hit. May come with spoilers attached, and a copyright lawsuit! And most obviously, "Rule number 1, never talk about Fight Club". Slice of Pi: A mathemagician's sharp wit and delicious pastry inspired magic is a deadly combination that even Dredmor's evil minions cannot warp their heads a-round. Deals transmutative damage, drops a piece of edible Pie pastry. Only deals damages in multiples of Pi, or deals 3 transmutative damage, 0.141592654 more transmutative damage based on your magic power. Or deals 2*Pi*R damage where R is the distance radially from you (with a circular AoE). Oh and maybe a bit of slashing damage. Lance-a-lot: Not actually a lance, it's a 1/8 scale figure of the famous Knight of the Round table. You can use it to bludgeon your opponents with it. Apparently, sealed deep within this carved figure lies the regret and sorrow of a knight for betraying his king. Deep stuff. Deals existential and righteous damage.
Why has no one mentioned an aluminum foil hat? Has it been done in an item pack mod already? I'm thinking it could supply magic reflect; after all, those mind reading rays can't get in, so why should spells?
The Diggler: This very annoying, very squeaky mace-thing was taken from your best friend's pet. (image is a diggle drillhead on a stick) I really like the blankets here.
